lagos & law

Lagos & Law: Know when to say NO to demands

The Red Infinix Smart 2 phone danced in vibration to an Incoming call on his phone. He looked up briefly from the book he was reading. It was an unknown number.

He made to pick it all the same.

“Hello,” he said.

“The lawww!!!!! Akoni niwaju adajo. E ku ola sir.” (The law, the valiant one before the judge! I hail you, sir!) The voice shouted out in greeting. He couldn’t place the voice. He peered at the screen and returned the phone to his ears.

“Hello sir, emi ni, Tunji Adebayo. (Hello sir, It’s me, Tunji Adebayo) I want to know if you are at the office.

“Ohhh! Mr. Tunji” He replied, recognition dawning on him. “Yes, I’m at the office.”

“Okay, I will be right there.” Mr. Tunji replied.



“Like you always reiterate in your discussion that, KLT (Know, Like and Trust) Factor cannot be relied on when it comes to legal documentation of some transactions. There is this property transaction I’m handling for my elder brother. He’s not in the country at the moment, but he asked me to purchase some parcels of land for him. I’ve done that, and we need you, the lawyer, to prepare the necessary documents for us, to make the transaction valid.” Mr. Tunji reeled out in one breath.

“That’s no problem. Let me have the necessary details about the property. That is what I will use in preparing a proper document, and my professional fee is 10% of the consideration paid for the land.” Mr. Collins, the lawyer replied.

“Ermmm. The law, this is the point where we need to talk.” Mr. Tunji replied, drawing his chair nearer, and brought his head forward, his forehead almost touching Mr. Collins’ head.

“You sef know say, man must chop nah and this period ehn, enu gbe! (A slang for saying, there is no money to spend) There are bills to settle! There are dependents to settle too. This is what I want you to do for me.” Mr. Tunji lowered his voice into a conspiratorial tone.

“Your professional fee is #80,000.00 (Eighty thousand Naira), I agree. I’m preparing a draft of #80,000 for you, but you are taking just #10,000 out of it, and I will take #70,000. I still need to settle some people too. E maa worry, I’m bringing another deal your way soon. This is still the least deal.” He ended, rubbing his palm together and smiling like the Cheshire cat that got the canary.

Mr. Collins set his glasses on the table and started chuckling, and shaking his head simultaneously.

“Father Lord!!! Wetin Musa no go see for gate?” He threw back his head and laughed. “Ermm. Mr. Tunji, can I ask you some questions?”

“No problem, The law. E bèrè (You can ask.)”

“What is your level of education?”

“I’m a degree holder.” Mr. Tunji replied.

“I will assume you can read and write very well?”

“Haha…daadaa. Èyàn ò lè f’owó ra òyì , ko maa ko l’ójú.” He replied.
(Haha…Very well. What is worth doing at all, is worth doing well)

“Very good! When you were about to enter this office, you read the inscription on the building. Did it in any way tell you that, you are coming to meet a roadside typist, a beggar, or a dunce?” Mr. Collins asked.

“The lawww! No, don’t misconstrue what I said. I’m not playing on your intelligence or trying to swindle you o. I believe that, in this life, everything is ‘chop make I chop’. This is not the last transaction I will bring to you. A si maa m’ora ju bayii lo.” (We still have a long way to go, business-wise)

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“Because ‘in this life, everything is ‘chop make I chop’ ” Mr. Collins said, mimicking Mr. Tunji. “I should give you #70,000.00 out of my professional fee and hold on to #10,000.00, after putting my expertise and knowledge to work, so that you can settle other dependents so that they won’t run temperature and fall ill?!”

“The lawww, bri….”

“This conversation is over, Mr. Tunji! If you walk a little bit, you may find quacks by the roadside to whom you can give the brief. I pray that the transaction doesn’t end in tears when the consequences of your action come knocking on your door. Do have a wonderful day!”

He returned his attention to the book he was reading and turned the swivel chair backward.


Dear client or consumer, when you seek and pay for the service of a professional, you are paying for the expertise, the skill learned and developed over time, the knowledge honed and refined over time. Can you not be so selfish by making ridiculous suggestions and offer?

If a professional or a service provider will offer you a discount on a product or service, or give you a product, or render service for free, let it be at the discretion of the service provider. Don’t force your demands down their throat.

Dear professionals, it’s your expertise, it’s your skill and knowledge you are offering. You are adding value to an existing system. Don’t be afraid to make money while at it. Know when to be selfless and considerate in your dealings with your clients Also, know when to be firm and assertive.

To every transaction and person, there is a season.

May Our Head be always Correct.

With Love,

The Pretty and Petite Lawyer,

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